Quotes from the Dark Side (aka Grad School)

My math prof on algorithms: “… switch off the thinking part of your brain … [because] … you see an algorithm – you start thinking about it – [and] you become emotionally involved.” (He emphasized the part in italics.)

Professor: “How is your semester going?”
Me: “It’s going all right – I’m looking for a research advisor.”
Professor: “What are you interested in?”
Me: *goes into semi-exhaustive detail*
Professor: “Aggghhhh funding!”
Me: “But I don’t have to be paid this year because I have a TAship.”
Professor: *fails to take the hint* “Ah … well … good luck!”

Me: “So … I’m looking for a thesis topic and advisor.”
Professors: “It’s okay, you have a TAship this year – you don’t have to worry.”
Grad Students: “Get one ASAP or you’ll be here forever!!!!!! Like me!”

Girl walking past me talking on phone: “I’m a science major in an engineering class for engineers, and I don’t know how to do the first problem set even though it’s been explained to me three times, and I WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF.” (Sheesh, chill out. It’s only the second week of class.)

Me: “In my rocket propulsion class, the grad students get to earn their keep by coordinating the rocket launch project.”
Peter: “How is that punishment?”
Me: *smirks slightly* “Exactly.”


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